


It's Not A Yes

by Ayearandaday



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Regency, F/M, Historical Inaccuracy, Literary References & Allusions, Lord Ren is dramatic, Lord Ren puts his education to a good use, Pride and Prejudice vibes, if you squeeze, namely suffers over his failed proposal, rey is not amused, save the Persian rug, the Huxes just wanted a quiet evening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 14:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20529764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayearandaday/pseuds/Ayearandaday
Summary: The aftermath of a failed proposal, Pride and Prejudice style.





	It's Not A Yes

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little funny piece to compensate the current lack of period dramas in my life. Many thanks to my lovely beta fulcrum_of_pemberley. Any possible mistakes are my own.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a man of family after a long day of work must be in a need of a quiet repose. Lord Armitage Hux, MP, a man of simple needs, was expecting a quiet evening with his dear wife and lovely children. He was decidedly _not_ expecting to find his old friend Lord Ren overindulging and moaning loudly in his parlor.

“In vain have I struggled!” a wail filled the room. Lord Armitage winced. Gwendolyn, his dear wife, heaved a sigh.

“How long has he been drinking?” the gentleman inquired cautiously, peeking into the parlor.

“In vain have I suffered!” exclaimed Lord Ren, precariously holding his glass.

“Longer than appropriate,” responded Lady Gwendolyn in a tone that indicated that the well of human kindness was close to dry.

“How brutally were my hopes crushed!” their unexpected guest cried.

“Please, not again!” The pleas fell on deaf ears.

“My vengeful angel! My alluring siren! La belle dame sans merci!”

“Goodness gracious!” uttered Lord Armitage.

“Lord have mercy upon us,” sighed his wife, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Rachel, oh Rachel, how cruel you are!” continued to grieve Lord Ren. The Huxes peeked into the parlor again.

“Is that my brandy?” whispered Lord Armitage. Lady Gwendolyn shook her perfectly coiffed head.

“I don’t think so, no. He finished that an hour ago,” she added with obvious distaste.

“Why did you scorn me?” wailed Lord Ren before finishing his glass and pouring himself another one. The lady of the house narrowed her eyes.

“It’s my sherry. Lord, not on my rug,” she pleaded, helplessly observing as an amber liquid flew over the edge.

“Don’t you see my suffering?!”

“Doesn’t he see mine?” Lady Gwendolyn hissed. “It’s my favourite Persian rug. My Father, God rest his soul, gifted it on our wedding.” While Lord Armitage was certainly not partial to the man or the rug, he was rather worried over his wife’s distress.

“Heaven have mercy! End my miserable existence!”

“What has him so overwrought?” Lord Hux asked tentatively as the love of his life huffed in indignation.

“As much as I gathered, Ren proposed and it didn’t go well.” _That_ explained a great deal. When Benjamin Solo, Lord Ren, heir to three fortunes and a known scoundrel, had learned that his uncle had taken in the orphaned daughter of his friend, he was beyond furious. Not only had he claimed how improper it was for Reverend Skywalker to accommodate a young woman, but also that said woman was after the Skywalker fortune. These beliefs had held until their first meeting, whereupon the man was completely and utterly taken with Miss Kenobi. Unfortunately for him, the lady in question was in possession of a strong character and even stronger opinions, particularly regarding Ren’s vices and virtues.

“I knew I liked that girl for a reason,” admitted Lord Hux. Miss Kenobi’s reasonable, frank nature and level head were indeed quite appealing.

“Oh, Rey! Light of my life, fire of my loins!” 

The Huxes shared a worried look. “Children?”

“In the nursery with Nanny. Oh, Armitage, please do something,” pleaded Lady Gwendolyn, her arms helplessly hugging her midriff.

Lord Armitage sighed. “My dearest, we are in dire need of reinforcement.”

“_She walks in beauty, like the night,_” Ren proclaimed loudly from a settee, showing no desire to leave his current spot. The lady of the house rubbed her temples, fighting a headache.

“Armitage, dear, I’m at my wits’ end.”

“Don’t fret, precious, help is coming,” the husband reassured his lady, while silently praying that his desperate letter had been delivered on time.

“_And all that’s best of dark and bright_

_Meet in her aspects and her eyes_.”

At last a servant informed them that two gentlemen and a lady were there to see them.

“Thank Lord for small mercies,” muttered the man, rushing to greet his help.

“Hux,” curtly offered a curly haired, serious-looking man, his dark-skinned companion nodding along.

“Dameron. Storm.” Under any other circumstances Lord Armitage wouldn’t bother his old nemesis from the House of Commons and his companion but the situation was dire. Besides, it was improper for a young lady to come unchaperoned. The lady in question was currently glaring at him with all her might.

“Explain to me immediately what I’m doing here!”

“Miss Kenobi, your help is greatly required,” he said as beseechingly as possible. “Follow me.”

As soon as they neared the parlor, their senses were assailed with another wave of cries.

“A rose of roses, a purest pearl!” lamented the familiar voice. Lord Armitage closed his eyes in exasperation. Mister Dameron and Mister Storm exchanged worried glances. Miss Kenobi paled.

“No, I refuse!” she proclaimed.

“The first ray of sun, the last star in the sky, my fickle guiding light! Oh, Rey!”

“I beg you, Miss Kenobi!” pleaded Lord Hux. The lady stood her ground.

“The woe is me!”

“The woe is us,” Lady Gwendolyn sighed dramatically.

“I said no!” Miss Kenobi reiterated stubbornly. They all went quiet as the occupant of the parlor started singing terribly off-key.

“_Alas, my love, you do me wrong, to cast me off discourteously._”

“Is that _Greensleeves_?” asked Mr. Dameron with a horrified expression. Miss Kenobi went positively green.

“Please, for the sake of my children and my future children,” at that Lady Gwendolyn covered her midriff with her hands, “and my Persian rug, do something!”

The other woman stared at her with abject horror. “I’m not going to marry him!”

“No one would demand such sacrifice from you,” hastily interjected Lord Armitage. “But maybe you could remove him from our dining room? He scares the servants.” They peeked again into the parlor where Lord Ren was still lounging on a settee.

“…Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother…”

“For a heathen, Lord Ren knows his Bible,” remarked Mr. Storm with a baffled expression.

“Of course he knows his Bible, he was tutored by Reverend Skywalker,” scoffed Miss Kenobi.

“And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.” A sob followed.

Lady Gwendolyn dropped her face into her hands.

“Enough of this,” gritted Miss Kenobi before boldly marching into the parlor. The rest of the party followed. Hearing their footsteps, Lord Ren lifted his head, his face splitting into a happy, inebriated smile.

“Rey!” Then his expression promptly morphed into a one of grief. “How cruel is my mind to conjure such an image! Be still, my bleeding heart.” His antics only irritated the object of his affection further.

“Benjamin Bail Organa-Solo, cease this nonsense immediately!”

“Oh, glorious fire of your eyes! My vengeful angel, are you here to subject me to an untimely demise?”

“I am here to subject you to a headache tomorrow,” replied Miss Kenobi through clenched teeth.

Lord Ren stared at her with awe. “How merciful, how kind! I am unworthy of your grace.”

“I thought that was already established,” scoffed the lady. “Now would you be so kind as to stop giving these nice people grief and come home?”

“With you?” the man asked hopefully.

“No, unless you want to get a lecture from your uncle in the morning,” Miss Kenobi replied testily. That made him pause.

“You are really here,” Lord Ren suddenly stated with a frown. Miss Kenobi rolled her eyes in a rather unladylike fashion.

“Does my presence no longer excite you?”

“Why? Why did you refuse me? After everything I did for you,” the man said forlornly.

“What, breaking your parents’ hearts and wasting away your inheritance?”

“I left Snoke for you! I quit gambling for you! I even rebuilt that orphanage, for God’s sake!” he cried out with indignation.

“You what?” Miss Kenobi was visibly taken aback.

“Lord Snoke cut him out of his will,” helpfully supplied Lady Gwendolyn, making her guests gasp.

“Do not worry, that fickle old curmudgeon does this all the time,” clarified her husband. “He once cut me out because I acquired _a wife_ and put me back in because I acquired _a cat_.”

“I only wanted to bask in your presence,” whined Lord Ren in the sudden silence.

“Which you could very well do at your mother’s dinners, which you do not attend,” answered back Miss Kenobi, earning herself a look of utter puzzlement.

“A dinner? Is that the cost of your affection?”

“Oh, no, it takes much more than that,” she replied with irritation. “To start, quit drinking.”

“Done,” eagerly announced Lord Ren, tucking his half-empty glass under the settee.

“And stop gambling, and spending so much on horses,” Miss Kenobi started ticking off her fingers as his face became progressively more confused. “And your pretentious black attire. And show some respect to your family. And find yourself a proper occupation in life. And maybe attend service at least on Sundays.”

“And hope that lightning won’t strike you,” quipped Mr. Dameron.

“Not helping,” the Huxes hissed at him.

“That’s it?” Lord Ren asked incredulously.

“For now. And then perhaps we could work on becoming friends. Just friends, Benjamin,” Miss Kenobi hastily added at his too hopeful expression.

“For now,” Lord Ren stubbornly reiterated.

“For now. Now let’s go home.” And they did, heavily relying on the help of Mr. Dameron and Mr. Storm in removing a rather inebriated man from the property.

“Lord bless you! You have my eternal gratefulness,” heartily exclaimed Lady Gwendolyn as they finally left her home. By the time they managed to squeeze Lord Ren into the carriage, the man was already asleep and at the mercy of his female companion to keep him from falling off the seat. 

“He is lucky to have you. Ren could profit from a good reasonable-minded woman in his life,” kindly offered Lord Armitage.

“It’s not a yes,” sternly informed him Miss Kenobi, her words at odds with a gentle way she carded her charge’s hair.

“But it’s not a no. One day he could make you very happy, my lady.”

“Or I could make him very miserable. I’m going to leave him at Lady Organa’s, you know.”

“Quite a solid punishment,” smiled Lord Armitage.

“And a well-deserved one.”

“What can I say, if anyone is able reform his character, it will be you.”

“I have neither the desire, nor the patience to undertake such a challenge,” the lady informed him.

“But you already do,” he pointed out, receiving a cold stare in return.

“Good evening, Lord Armitage,” With that Miss Kenobi closed the door and motioned the carriage to go. Peace was restored to his household at last.

“What are you thinking about, precious?” he asked his wife upon his return indoors.

“What are we going to gift them for their wedding?” asked Lady Gwendolyn with a pensive expression.

“Certainly not a Persian rug,” Lord Armitage grinned.

“Certainly not. I hope to God their children will take after their mother or else they will grow up terrible scoundrels.”

“Or at least after their grandmother. Lady Organa-Solo is a force to reckon with.”

“Married life will suit him,” concluded his love. “Though Ren is really lucky to earn himself such a wife.”

“Not as lucky as I am,” replied Lord Armitage, and he meant every word of it.


End file.
